Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Do I Really Have to Enjoy EVERY Moment?

Whenever someone is pregnant, a common thing mamas-to-be hear is to "enjoy every moment." It goes by fast- so treasure every single, precious moment. Because soon enough, they will be grown and out of the house. And you will long for these days again. Or will you?


I think the advice to enjoy every single moment is what sets us moms up for guilt. Major guilt. Because there are days, moments that I thoroughly DO NOT enjoy. And to tell me that I'm gonna miss these times? Please. Having children has been 100% the most downright, earth shattering, soul changing thing I have ever set out to do; I can probably say without a doubt say that it is the most important thing I will ever do. But to enjoy every moment? I just can't. But the guilt society throws at us if we don't enjoy every moment is tremendous. Because to admit that there are moments that we don't enjoy, moments that if we could wish away, we would do it in a heartbeat. The moments that make you want to drop everything you are doing and escape. Even if it's just to the bathroom for 5 minutes. Those are the moments that when we admit we are feeling defeated, helpless and the thought flickers through your mind of how nice it would be to NOT have kids? We are told that we aren't supposed to feel that way. That those thoughts somehow make us less of a mom. Or that it makes us a bad mom- to admit we DON'T enjoy every moment.And that we should treasure ALL the moments. I'm going to be the one to say that I do not enjoy every moment. That there are moments that I definitely wish to erase from my memory. I'm just gonna stick my neck out there to say that whoever came up with that saying, probably didn't have kids. Or maybe they had blissful, perfect angel kids. Because I know whoever came up with it sure as heck doesn't live with my crew.

Sure, there are LOVELY, BLISSFUL moments in my household that if I could take them and bottle them up to treasure and remember for the rest of my life, I would. And I know that with the good, there comes the bad. THERE ARE GOING TO BE BAD MOMENTS. TERRIBLE, pee and poop, vomit and tantrumming (spell check is telling me this isn't a word but I'm going with it)  moments that in 20 years, I know sure as heck I won't want those moments back and you know what I'm probably not sitting there during or even after, thinking, Wow- this is a moment I really need to enjoy. And actually, if someone would tell me in that precise moment to embrace it, enjoy it- I might have a few choice words for them.

This moment I could have really done without
So, if I could tell any new or even seasoned mom out there it would be this: That there are going to be wonderful moments with your kiddos that you WILL want to treasure and enjoy. Remember that they do grow fast and that the moments spent with your kiddos- playing on the floor, building a fort and dancing foolishly to Let it Go- treasure them. Hold them close to your heart. Be in the moment. Let yourself be silly and let loose. Find your inner kid. But I will also tell you this- there will be hard moments. Moments where you will feel like you have absolutely no idea what you are doing. Moments where you feel like you are failing. Moments where you are absolutely sure you've just damaged your child for life. Moments where you will be pulled in twenty different directions and feeling like you are letting everyone down. Moments that you thoroughly do NOT enjoy. And you know what- that's ok, I'm here to tell you that you don't have to enjoy every moment.

And the moments that keep me coming back for more....

And for your reading enjoyment, check this post out. Beware- lots of language in this one. But she is one of my favorite writers to read. Down to earth. Relatable. Brutally honest.

Happy Wednesday! We are battling some case of the sicklies- Sophia's low grade temp returned and she was complaining that her head hurt at daycare on Tuesday afternoon. I got home from work right before supper time and Saidey vomited EVERYWHERE. The couch, the carpet and herself. Needless, to say we'll be at home today nursing ourselves back to health. Here's to a healthier rest of the week!