Thursday, June 18, 2015

Father Figure

This was another post that has been on my radar but didn’t have the nerve to put pen to paper. Fingers to keyboard. But in light of Father’s Day coming up this weekend, I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to share a little about the father figures in my life.

Sophia and WM at the Iowa Cubs game last summer

Some of you may know that the man who I called “dad” for most of my life- is technically my step dad. When I was in 2nd grade, my (adoptive) dad relinquished parental rights so that my step dad could adopt me. (I won’t get started with the mental/emotional implications this has had ☺ )  I will admit, it was a highly confusing time for me and I honestly didn’t quite grasp the meaning of it all. But eventually my step dad became my dad and has been as close to what I call a father figure for most of my life. 

Even after my parents divorced (around middle school age) he still remained a strong presence in my life. I never felt like I was treated any different than my sister- his biological daughter. However due to events that occurred during elementary school, a little less than two years ago, I decided to remove him from my life. The combination of having kids and getting in touch with my own emotions and thoughts provoked this decision. I am still coming to terms and healing from those events and I felt I could not continue to do that if he was in my life. 

Father's Day 2014
I shared how I like to put on a good face and appear as if everything is perfect in my life so imagine how this decision shook that image up. It’s not all that uncommon to hear about divorce anymore but what about not having a dad in your life at all? What would that do to my image of having it all, of having a perfect life? I still don’t quite know and I’ve only recently started to casually mention that my dad is no longer in my life. I share this little morsel of information with little to no emotion, almost as if I’m ordering a coffee at Starbucks; but even that is probably said with more emotion that what I convey to people when I tell them my dad is no longer in my life. 

Recently, other series of events have left my faith in a so called father figure in crumbles. When someone who you finally trust and believe in- lets you down, lets your kids down, lets your family down- it changes the way you think about men and people in general. For me- it was another example of how men can’t be trusted and how they don’t stick around for long. 

Fun at the zoo 
I try to remember, especially in light of these recent events that there ARE great, wonderful, trustworthy, reliable men out there. Fortunately, some of these men ARE still in my life and I HAVE to focus on that. To Will- who has proven to be a wonderful husband and father, to his father, my father in law, to my grandfathers. 

So, on this Father’s Day- THESE are the men I will celebrate. These are the men who have and will continue to make a positive impact on my views on men and fathers. 

I also want to extend a Father’s Day to all the fathers who are in it, day in and day out. You rock! ☺ 

WM and Sophia on the ferris wheel at the IA State Fair

Also, has anyone else notice that WM's favorite shirt to wear is a blue v-neck?! I mean, you'd think these pictures were all from the same day! 

Happy Weekend all!