Thursday, May 7, 2015

What I Want My Mom To Know on Mother's Day

I've thought for a few weeks about how I would approach writing about Mother's Day. I thought I might write about my own journey into motherhood but then I decided to instead, write about my mom and the things she has taught me. There are so many lessons I have learned from my mom that it is hard to narrow them all down to write about in this one blog post. I've written this before, but my mom and I have had our struggles- mostly because I didn't know how to express my feelings and communicate with her- and maybe the same went for her as well. I was dealing with things that had happened and didn't know how to deal with them, so I turned inward, blocking everyone out, including her. Despite not turning to her when I should have, my mom taught me so much about life and without a doubt has made me into the person I am today.

I learned the true meaning of unconditional love, being open minded and accepting (and not just tolerant) of all, of what it's like to forgive and give second chances, of being selfless, and seeing the good in others. As I've gotten older and started my own family, I've made decisions that sometimes my mom doesn't always agree with. Whether we agree or disagree, I can count on my mom to keep it real with me and bring me back from the clouds if I need it. Recently, we were talking and she mentioned how I don't need her anymore. I want to let her know, along with anyone else reading this, that at no point in one's life will they NOT need their mother and how far from the truth that comment was. I still need and WANT a mom. I still want and need her to give me reality checks and tell me like it is- I might not always like it or agree with it but I want to hear it, I NEED to hear it. And I also want to let her know that just because I've decided to parent in different ways than I was parented- doesn't mean I think the way I was parented was wrong. In fact, she has taught me how to make smart decisions, based on what is right for yourself and your family- period. She showed me what it is like to do what works for your family and that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. That's the lesson she taught me. So maybe, I've decided to cloth diaper or breastfeed and she didn't. She provided me the chance to become independent and confident in making those choices. And although different than what she had decided, definitely not better or superior.

As I've gotten older, I think its been an adjustment from the mother-daughter relationship we had to mothering a daughter who has started her own family. But on Mother's Day and everyday, I want my mom to know how much I love her and appreciate everything she has ever done for me. And that I still need her, even if I don't act like it. I also need her to know that our relationship is always going to be in progress- never perfect but again, as she has taught me- she will be there for me no matter what. Even if we don't agree about something. And that's what family is all about.

And to my amazing mother in law, Mary- I am so blessed to have you in my life and for accepting me into your family. I have to thank you for raising an incredible son as well as loving me like your own.

Happy Mother's Day