Content.

Tuesday, February 10, 2015
For as long as I can remember, I've always been waiting for the next big thing to happen in life. Whether it was planning for a party, organizing a family trip or finishing school, I always had something in the works. And as much as I would gripe about being busy, stressed and overwhelmed, secretly I loved it. I loved the excitement built around planning and organizing and having weekends full of activities that when we had a slower weekend, I felt bored, restless. Even as I was planning things, I still felt restless. Itchy for something big, a change. I found myself being caught up in the planning and organizing and anticipation of the next big thing that I also found myself being lost in that. Days, months and years flew by and I felt that despite the moments that were my life- I was somehow missing out. I wasn't really being THERE, in the moment as things were happening. My mind was on fast forward, in anticipation to what I was going to do next.


I also wrote about the topic of having more kids and while I know I want a third and I do admit, even now, my insides get all melty at just the sight of a baby- I know that in this moment- I am perfectly content with our family of four. I know that there will come a time when that itch for just one more will become stronger and the want will become more than just insides melting after seeing a snuggly newborn. But in this moment, our family feels complete.


We also get the question about moving out of our townhome. Several people ask me how much longer we anticipate staying. Since we moved in, I always said, "This is just our starter home, give it 2 years, tops." Then I became pregnant with Saidey and I said, "It's time to find a bigger home," But when it came to sign the paperwork to officially put our home on the market, I found myself making excuses. I found myself talking myself into staying. And now, here we are still. The answer to when we will move? I don't know. Right now- I am completely content where we are. It is our home that we have built and of course, there will come a time where it will be time to say goodbye but for now, it is ours and we love it.


For the first time, in a long time, I don't have a plan. I don't have answers to questions of moving, babies and even what we're doing next weekend. And for the first time, that doesn't fill me with anxiety or restlessness. I just know, that right here, right now, I am perfectly content with how things are in this moment.

Decorating sugar cookies for Valentine's Day
Frosting here, frosting there, frosting EVERYWHERE!

The end result.



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