Thursday, January 1, 2015

Bidding Adieu to 2014 and Hello to 2015

Another year has come... and gone. We are gearing up for another year and again, I am faced with the reality that as usual, life is moving on, whether I'm ready or not. The girls will get another year older, with the BIG FIVE this year and Saidey onto the not so terrible two's. And myself- another year older and that much closer to the big 3-0.

As I reflect on 2014 there are moments that stick out to me that I see clear and crisp along with sounds of laughter and fun. The moments where I was able to freeze time just for a millisecond and really take everything all in. The sights, sounds and most importantly, seeing things as they were happening through the eyes of a little one. Our family trips to St Louis, Omaha Zoo, and then there was Arizona and Jamaica and even the everyday things like seeing my children snuggled together on the couch or the moments where even just for a snapshot- things were peaceful and the only thing that mattered were the moments of just being together as a family.

A few things happened this year that really affected me personally and professionally. I have had struggles in both areas and this has been a year where I really questioned myself professionally and my decisions career wise. Questions like, "Am I REALLY happy?" and "What do I REALLY want to do with my life?" have not only affected my personal life but my general well being. For once in my life, I haven't been sure, I haven't been 100% positive that this is the path I am supposed to be on and that 100% scared me. I didn't like feeling unsure and I didn't like not having a plan. I will have to say that I'm still not 100% sure but I also have learned the importance of not only standing up for myself but I've begun to take my own advice- which is- "Shit or get off the pot." If I'm not happy- the only one that can change the situation is ME and I need to take control and take the steps necessary to be happy or move on! It took me a good six months to realize this and to start taking my own advice.

As far as personally, I feel as though parenthood is also a work in progress and as parents we are always sort of learning as we go. Even situations that we think we have prepared for or that we think we know how we will react, things don't always go our way. This has come ten fold as Sophia has entered the school system. It has tested me as a parent in ways I didn't realize. I give out information/feedback/guidance to parents all the time in my profession and yet when the tables are reversed it's a tough pill to swallow when YOUR child is having the behavior difficulties. It has provided me with a new insight into how families feel when they are called into the school's office because of their child's behavior. The hesitation, defensiveness is all seen in a new light now that I have been on that other side of the table.

Another year passing has always seemed a little bittersweet just because I have always felt that the days, months and years go by with a blur, especially since I graduated college. Sometimes, I feel like the years are passing me by and before I know it, the years will be gone and I will be gray and old, reflecting on life and asking myself if I have lived my life in the best way possible. That is scary to me because sometimes it is hard to answer that question now- am I living my life in the direction I really want- and scary because sometimes that answer is "no" Too often, I am living for others, trying to please others, instead of doing what I need or want. But on the other hand, as I saw a quote on Instagram just today, a new year comes a new slate. And with a new year, comes new beginnings and new found motivation to spend more QUALITY time as a family, doing what is right for my family and myself, period, and to take things one day at a time.

"Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." 

January 2014

February 2014- we send Brooklyn off for a semester abroad in Chile


March 2014- Saidey turns 1
March 2014 at Saidey's 1st Birthday Party

April 2014

May 2014- William starts a new job at BusinesSolver

June 2014

July 2014 Sophia turns FOUR

September 2014 GO STATE

September 2014
October Girl's trip to AZ

October- 5 Yr. anniversary in Jamaica

October 2014 Happy Halloween

November 2014
Christmas 2014

December 2014

December 2014

December 2014

Christmas 2014 Family Picture Attempt Number 4....

And that about sums up our year! HAPPY 2015!!