They say traveling is one of the best things you can do with your money. I think I would have to agree. In the past month, I have traveled to Scottsdale, Arizona and then Ocho Rios, Jamaica a week later. Now, don't get me wrong, I am in no means a world globe trotter- these were the first trips I have taken for about 3 years- and before that, I was just a single gal so traveling took a different meaning back then. In the past though, I have always loved to travel, mainly to visit my grandparents at their home away from home in the US Virgin Islands when I was younger and then to the British Virgin Islands when I was a little older. I have also traveled to Mexico and stayed summers there visiting family as well as taken a trip to Spain and Portugal when I was 14. Some of my greatest memories come from these adventures and of course- life, has gotten in the way of my love for travel. (Yes, that was an excuse, I was hoping you would miss that). Oh and having two kids, having two kids (there's another excuse) sort of impacts your ability to travel. And money. Well, travel like the way we used to anyway. Now, traveling consists of planning, lots and lots of planning. Questions of who will stay with the kids to preparing lists of instructions, leaving behind medical releases, and copies of insurance cards. And don't get me going when you actually decide to travel with the kids. But it can be done and you know what, even when you are half way around the world and can't cut the toast in the way that Saidey really likes it,
the world keeps spinning and they survive. I think about all the effort and attention I put in to make their little worlds perfect and then laugh a little when I realize that they
probably don't really care about all that. All they care about is that they are loved and taken care of. So, this also reminds me that sometimes, I need to relax. That the house doesn't have to look perfectly cleaned and that it's okay that a laundry of clean, folded clothes sits in that basket for
one two weeks er, until we just continue to retrieve clothes from said basket until empty. What really matters is the time that I spend with them. I also realized, plain and simple-
I NEED TO GET OUT MORE and spend time with my husband. I realized that if we aren't okay- our family isn't okay. One of my main priorities is our relationship and my commitment to my husband. Sometimes it takes a little time away from everything to remember that and to re-prioritize.
Another huge realization that I came to while vacationing in Jamaica, though was that for the rest of my life- however long that may be- a huge part of my heart is not in my body. It resides in two little girls, whom I fell in love with the moment I found out I was pregnant. This feeling that my heart will always be with them, outside of myself, even when they are old and no longer "need" me overwhelmed me. For moms, it seems that the moment we find out we are pregnant, a big majority of our hearts are found in our children. No longer are our hearts our own. I wrote this
post about the responsibilities that moms take on, and this is one of them. A double edged sword. Of course, I would never ever take the feeling of my heart being outside of myself away but at the same time, it sort of scares me. If my heart is with them always, what does this mean? Not only does it mean that no matter how far away we travel from each other, there will always feel like a part of me is missing. I am almost 100% sure this feeling will last long after they have both moved out of our home and have made homes of their own. But I also think that it makes it that much more important to continue to do what interests me- not as a mom- but as
ME- the book worm, journaling, bad music, nerdy, reality TV- loving ME. In this
post I talked about how it can be easy to let our roles define us and although being a mom is large role I have, it's not the only one. Traveling away from the kids, really makes me remember this point. It also includes continually getting to know Will- finding new things about each other and finding new things that we both take interest in. After all, when the kids leave, we will only have each other.
And of course as the title implies- after traveling there is absolutely nothing else that tops the feeling of returning home to your little ones- seeing them smile and run to you is like nothing in this world. But I will admit, I will probably be setting my globe trotting shoes in the back of my closet, for a little while, anyway- while I love on my two gals and guy.
(A specific post about our time at the resort and pictures to follow later)
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| Will and I at just one of the amazing restaurants the resort had to offer. |
