Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Garage Door Problems

This morning our garage door would not close. In the past few months we've been having some troubles with the sensors getting off track causing the door to go down a little and then back up. This has resulted in a few things: leaving out of town and returning to find the door open and a very irritated wife as I am usually the last to leave in the mornings. I'm not sure how mornings go in other households but in ours it's hustle and bustle, making sure everyone has everything they need for the day before making a hasty exit, buckling in car seats and being on our way. So you can imagine the frustration when you're pulling down your driveway after you've hit your garage door button to see the garage door suddenly stop and go back up. Will has said "it's the sensors, they get off track if they get bumped" These said sensors are also located near our garbage and recycle bins as well as the way Sophia and I get to our sides of the car. So, this morning, when the door stops closing, I get out, nudge the sensor with my foot a little and hit the button. Nothing. Again with the nudging. And nothing. For some reason, this morning, this little bump in the road really, really irritated me and I called Will and let's just say, I wasn't quite pleasant when I told him that the garage door was not opening AGAIN and it might be in his best interest to get home and help. When he got home, I had to pull out of the driveway to make room for him to pull up. Being in the great mood I was in, I pulled (peeled) out of the driveway, almost hitting a neighbor walking to his house. Oops. Guess we're not making friends with him.....Add to that to the awesome way my morning was going.

Before Will got there, I tried moving the sensors again to no avail. Do you want to know what happened when he got there? He bent over, wiggled the sensor, pushed the button and VIOLA. The darn garage door effortlessly came down. I was livid.

You may be wondering why I am detailing our garage door problems out to you as well as thinking, "Where is she going with this?" Well, this little obstacle in my morning caused me to reflect on a few things.

The first thing was irritation because Will is Mr. Fix It, the guy who knows a little bit about everything. Even garage doors. Now, this has happened before, something not working, me getting irritated and angry that it's not working even though I am trying to fix it. Eventually, calling Will to help and first try- BAM, it's fixed. Very frustrating to say the least. So that was the first thing that came across my mind, was, REALLY?! Are you serious? You come home and in literally 2 seconds you fix it. This is where I would insert a choice gesture. (sorry, Will)  I am used to being the person that when something goes wrong, namely, the girls come running to me. So it's a little frustrating when I have troubles with simple things such as closing a garage door or turning on the TV with our alien remote.

The second thought that came to my mind was pushing aside the inconvenience and frustration, what it boils down to is our differences in responsibilities. It has for the most part been my responsibility to wake up, get ready, get the girls up, get them ready, make my lunch and coffee, get their things ready for daycare, load the car, load the girls and get on the road. Of course Will helps with some of those little things as well but I've always carried most of the pressure/responsibility of ensuring a smooth morning.  Drop offs/pick ups are also my main responsibility. Would he take on some of that if I asked? I know he would. But that's just the way it has fallen, for most of Sophia and Saidey's life, I have been the family organizer, making plans, getting everything ready and making sure laundry is done, house is cleaned, and making sure everyone is content with life. That's been my job. And I've loved it. Wouldn't change a moment. But then sometimes, glimpses of bitterness boil to the surface. Like today. When we both left again, I angrily thought, how nice it would be to just hop in my car and leave. Not have to worry if we brought the loved stuffed animal or the gymnastics leotard. Just hop in my car and go to work. Now, don't get me wrong, I know Will has just as many pressures and worries that he deals with- they're just different than mine.

But I still can't help to think about this a little more. As my journey into motherhood grows, I think back to all the things I have taken on. The late night feedings, rockings, and driving back clear across town to get a stuffed animal that was forgotten. I've taken them on not only because "that's just what moms do," but because I WANT to. I would not want to miss those car ride conversations or drop offs at school where I get "just one more hug, mommy." And I think that's where us moms are doomed. And I say doomed in the most positive light. We are doomed to forever feel a sense of responsibility for all those things, without being asked to, even if our husbands are the most supportive they can be. We take on those pressures/responsibilities but can become bitter because we wish that just one day, we could be carefree and not have to worry about making sure we bring extra clothes to daycare or that we told the daycare teacher that Saidey had a rough night and that she might be extra tired today. But when we get the chance to do so, to maybe take a day off, or have someone else take on that responsibility for just one day, we miss it and we look forward to the moment we see them again.  When I am not with the girls, my head is filled with questions wondering how they are doing.. Did Saidey get her little square blankey that she loves to hold and suck her thumb at the same time? Did Sophia go to the bathroom before naptime because if she is playing around in her bed, it's most likely that she has to go? It's a double edged sword. But I wouldn't change it for the world. And that's why moms are awesome.

Me and my awesome mama :)